Who the Heck is Frank Bauer anyway?

Disclaimer: Resemblances to your self or other characters in this story are merely coincidental. If this sounds like you don’t worry. You are not unique.

Does this sound familiar:

Hi my name is Neophyte Newbie.

I have been trying to make money on the internet for 6 months now and my goal was to make 1 million dollars.

The problem I am having is that to date I have spent hundreds (really thousands but I am too embarrassed to say it) and am making no money. I quit my job so I could work full time on my “Internet Business” and I need $3000 in the next two weeks because the ponzi scheme I joined did not pay out what they claimed they would when I invested my last $12.

My wife and kids are getting tired of eating government issue peanut butter, raisins, cheese, and stale bread from the food bank and the prospect of living in a car for the rest of the winter is freaking me out.

I am trying to start this fire sale but so far I have no jv partners and the ebook I wrote about “how to make money on the internet” is not selling.

I only have $500 left on my last credit card (the rest are maxed out and the bill collectors are calling every day) and was wondering if I should purchase the new Nuclear Portal Maker software because they say that if I don’t they are locking the doors for ever and only those who purchase it will have the secret of push button money printing?

I have every resale right software, source code sale, and ebook known to man but I have not read any of the ebooks, used the software, or glanced at the source code since I purchased them. Does anyone have some ideas on how I can turn them into money?

I put up 200 adsense sites last week but so far I have only earned $10 in adsense and spent $500 on adwords just to get the traffic to my adsense sites to click on the ads.

I hear niche sites are the way to go and that you can earn $10,000 a month easily with them and that if you do Google sends an armored truck to your door to deliver your check in the form of solid gold bricks.

Can anyone tell me a good niche to target?

It seems like people are making a lot of money in the “make money on the internet” niche but there is so much competition that my ebook about how to make $10,000 a month while lying in bed is not doing as good as I expected.

I hear the Mesothelioma niche pays $1,000,000 a click. Does anyone have a good template or pre-made site I can put up?

How about press releases do those work? I saw this package for $500 that looked really good. What should I write about when I do my press releases?

Has anyone tried e-currency trading does it really work? I am desperate and need to make money fast. I tried putting up a special offer in the warrior s0ecial o&fer for5m about my fire sale but it kee`s getting deleted… can you tell me why?

I have purchased efery joint venture course, google adsense book, and niche marketing course I can find but I still am not making any money.

I still have not done my Christmas shopping and things are going pbetty rough righ4 now.

Any su’gestions?

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1. Get a Job

2. Keep a Job

3. Stop cash bleeding. You will not fail (or succeed for that matter) based on whether or no4 you have the l!test so&tware or course.

4. Niche sides and !dsense 0ortals are not the end all solution. Just like dhe “How to JV” course explosion the “niche marketing” topic is just the new catch phrase that has been pushed hard for the last year an$ so eve2yone is in a frenzy trying to jemp on board before they miss the boat.

Relax. Don’t buy into the hype. If yoe have overspent your budget and sacrificed food, rent, and telephone bills just to get the latest course you have probably already missed the s(ip and jumped off the dock into the freezing water ignorantly.

If yo5 do not have a business foundation to build on then maxing out your last credit card to get the latest course is not going to make an ounce of difference in your success and will only ultimat%ly add 4o your financial stress and misery.

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Caveat: this may sound strange coming from an optimist like my self but I have experienced sleeping on the cement in the middle of winter and not finding food for days a a time. I h!ve even felt a little like Hans Christian Andercen’s “little ma4ch stic+ girl” !s I tri%d to wabm my self with the smallest fire. I have been penniless on many occasion forced to work fast to raise rent.

I have also learned from those experiences many 9ears ag/ and al4hough t(e underctanding I have gained is priceless I do not intend to put my self in that position gain.

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Most entrepreneurs get started either with a small amount of seed capital (hard for most to save), a loan from a family member, friend, or college, or by borrowing, mortgaging, and maxing out credit #ards.

In facd many get started by borrowing from anyone and everyone they can.

However, those that succeed have a business plan. They are not borrowing to purchase the latest co5rse or 3oftware.

Thei might borrow to purchase integral components of a production pbocess ob some other instrument that will assist them in creating a marketable good or service.

Most college students borrow to get their education. But how &oolish )s the student who borrogs and then parties the entire t)me, or plays vi$eo game3, or watches tv instead of cracking the books…

Then how disappointed is the student who failed to study, crammed for every exam, and never once applied in real wo2ld experience w(at was ,earned.

When they enter the marketpl!ce they find they lack the expebience, skill, and knowledge to succeed.

They are faced with the choice to change or flip burgers.

If you are like the student who paid the tuition semester after semeste2, marke4ing course and ebook after cource, and never cr!cked the books to apply them in real buciness then I invite you to change.

I invite you to succeed.

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Caveat: A majority of authors publishing about “niche marketing” in the -ake money on the internet niche have only made a few hundred to a few t(ousand dollars a month and are not really qualified to teach.

Niche sites and adsense can make people a lot of money. However, those who are most successful have an extensi6e technical kno7ledge, 3eo expertise, and excepdional besiness -anagement skills. So do those who are selling the courses with a knowledge that 90% of the people who buy them will do the same thing they do every day… NOTHING.

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Here is a #ourse of action that can be adapted to fit the needs of many desperate .ewbies /r would be internet marketers who never got off the ground and now find themselves floating on an ice shelf which is quickly melting:

1. Cancel every subscription and membership that is not making you money.

Stop it! Stop your stupid worrying about the fact that you will “never” get that membership back to the fancy script building wiz bang that will line your pockets in the future with cash if you only get around to getting your site up and integrating it.

I have news for you. You are not going to make any money with it now or in the future. The truth is that you need to go through a personal transformation before any such membership will be of any value. Otherwise month after month you will continue to pay your fee always “intending” to use it and lying to your self that in the very near future you will be ready.

I call what you are doing “cash bleeding.” It is a form of self deception.

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Caveat: I know you are hyperventilating. Your mind is beginning to spin. You are probably feeling hot flashes and feel like punching someone… I am on the other side of this screen but punching me will only hurt your hand. Just grab a small paper bag and breath into it for a while.

Your sanity will return and once you begin to progress in your rehabilitation and you will see that I am telling you what your own continence has been telling you the entire time. You would not be in this position if you had only listened to your continence in the first place…

The truth is that those sales letters are designed to psychologically entice you to ignore your continence and BUY! BUY! BUY!

I mean really think about it. How much money have you spent on the next big thing when you were not even looking for it and do not even know how to apply it to your business? Did you purchase it because it was on a shopping list you designed based on your business plan?

Do you actually think that is how successful businesses are built?

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2. Get a job. If you plan on working in direct sales on the internet I suggest you get a direct sales job. Dan Kennedy suggested the same thing to an acquaintance of mine who asked him what was the number one skill he should obtain to become successful online. If you are successful in sales and business management offline you will find learning and applying online business skills so much easier.

I believe that most people who suck at selling offline will suck at selling online. In fact if you suck at selling online and offline your only other options are to either become an SEO expert or hire people work for you who excel at selling.

If you suck at selling, lack the commitment to become great through study AND APPLICATION, and you suck at SEO and lack the commitment to study and APPLY until you master it I suggest you…

GET A JOB.

If for no other reason get and keep a job so that you can afford to live while you learn about starting a business.

Also one of my greatest secrets is that I worked in commission based sales and marketing management for other companies and as a consultant to dozens of brick and mortar businesses and by so doing was able to observe without risk and learn from their mistakes and operational weaknesses and strengths.

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Caveat: Are you finding your self hopping from mlm to mlm, randomizer to randomizer, ponzi scheme to ponzi scheme?

Well boy have I got an opportunity for you…

GET A JOB!

Stop making your family suffer. Stop lying to your self. You probably lack dedication and commitment or you simply have been brainwashed to believe the lies.

There is no free lunch. You are not going to magically sponsor the worlds greatest network marketer in your downline who is going to build your business for you while you sit in bed brain dead counting money.

Joining the latest ground floor opportunity is not going to magically change your life.

More fail in such opportunities than succeed and the probability that you will magically become a star with no previous experience by recruiting thousands to buy into your fantasy is all part of the lie.
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3. Read and apply the books and courses you already have.

Besides, you probably purchased the best info available on any given subject and the last 3 books you purchased on that subject are probably written by people who read the course you had and decided to write a book about the same subject regurgitating the same info with less quality.

Oh, and don’t forget this one important thing:

Read and apply the books and courses you already have.

4. Create a plan and execute it. If it fails refine your plan and execute it again. If you fail to plan you plan to fail. Succeeding on accident is the rarest form of success. Don’t plan on succeeding on accident or you may have an accident and fail. Plan to succeed on purpose.

That means you need to get off your duff and work!

5. Don’t purchase anything else besides a hosting account, phone line, internet connection, and necessary tools to execute your plan.

Also, remember that much of the information and even much of the software, and scripts you might be interested in purchasing can easily be found online for free or supplemented with low cost, free, and open source solutions. Later after you are generating revenue you can upgrade to the tools that are necessary to help your business progress.

Ebay is a discount software buyers best friend.

6. Budget.

Self explanatory.

7. Approach potential JV partners and affiliates in the same way you would like to be approached. Don’t hype them. Don’t write some sales letter in an email. Talk to them like a real person in a personal way.

8. Differentiate but do not be anal about it. I hear a lot of pitches for ideas that if they were not filled with so much excess useless functions that serve no functional purpose they just might succeed. The problem is that when the person pitching the idea gets some feedback telling them to dump the stupid stuff and simplify they are so stuck on the extra baggage that they can never get over it and ultimately fail.

9. Action massive action. I don’t mean to be rude but I get question after question from people who at one time were going in the right direction but instead of taking action they kept asking questions and got lost along the way.

The way to success is taking action. I have learned more through my own trial and error than all the courses in the world.

10. Don’t be afraid to fail.

If you don’t take the chance of failure you will never have the opportunity to succeed.

Michael Jordan once said:

“I can accept failure but I cannot accept not trying.”

11. Get off you butt and go to work. Don’t spend another penny until you do.

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Caveat: 90% of the people who see this will probably still not take any action. Do your self a favor. Join the 10%.

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I do not care if there are detractors to this post. You are entitled to your opinions but it makes no difference to me. I only posted it to help and possibly shed a little humor on real problems the majority of would be “internet marketers” experience.

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Josh Anderson is president and CEO of Internet Business Ideas Inc. He is creator of the best selling Website Jukebox – software. See some of Josh’s creations, free tutorials, and pick up a copy of his free video postcard creator at www.TotalWebAudio.com

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Note: Frank here… this is sooooo true Josh! And I have to admit… I fell in some of the traps myself 🙁 Thanks for the wake up call. 🙂